
The ALTERVERSE Forums ALTERVERSE is a literary universe and multiverse made up of the story arcs of multiple planned and in-progress litterature and culminative world-building projects. Here, you can contribute to the multiverse and explore what it presently entails. |
| | I'm at a loss here - Struggling through Chapter 3 | |
| Author | Message |
---|
SPACE_LEMON Denizen of the Higher Dimensions


Posts : 1538 Join date : 2010-12-23 Age : 22 Location : My own little pocket universe :3
Character Sheet Character Status: N/a Full Name: Starting Universe:
 | Subject: I'm at a loss here - Struggling through Chapter 3 Sat Nov 10, 2012 9:57 am | |
| As you know, it's been weeks since last I posted a chapter. I regret to be going veeeeeery slowly with Chapter 3, partly because I'm currently in my end-year exams, and partly because I'm yet again experiencing some form of writer's block. So, I though it would help me get my creative juices flowing again to discuss it with you guys. Here's what I've got for Chapter 3 so far: - Spoiler:
-
CHAPTER THREE
It was the morning of David's third day on Novusvita and day of the expeditions. Four members of the team David had been assigned to – all but Professor Penrose and Doctor Dessai – left the colony just after breakfast, along with a silent colony guard and a field guide, Tamerine Coetze, who knew the caverns of the Ilrai Mountains, via a six-seated colony rover though the western gate dome. The rover was a robotic vehicle with six large wheels positioned outside of the chassis on mobile axis, which allowed the vehicle to pass over fairly difficult terrain smoothly and effortlessly. The group followed a road that extended from Darwin northwards into the mountains and eventually came out the other side via a steep pass, crossing the border from the local Svia’ji nation to the Valiero’ji. Darwin was built on territory “borrowed” from the Svia’ji and, since a few years ago, humans had also been given permission to make use of their road networks, as they were currently doing. When use of the road network by humans was first allowed, it was in a terrible state, eroded and overgrown. This was because the Svia'ji generally made use of aerial or arboreal transport via native animals. The only reason the Toss region even had roads was because it originally belonged to the Valiero'ji, until they could no longer sustain is and ceded it to the Svia'ji after a large war caused somewhat of a Valieren Great Depression. Today, the roads in the area around Darwin had been largely repaired and even paved, up to the border with the Valiero'ji. They were all donned in their AES suits for the journey, though their masks were off, given the artificial atmosphere inside the vehicle's chassis. Next to David sat the guard. His AES suit was slightly different from the rest of theirs. For one, it looked much more like combat clothing than anything else. Along with the multitude of pockets on a general AES suit, there were also holsters – weapon holsters – most of them full. Around his neck hung a set of dog tags bearing his name and apparent rank, as if he were some sort of soldier. He was quite an intimidating figure, especially with the military grade high-voltage ion bolt-rifle he was holding on his lap. While they drove, the man stared blackly out the side of the rover and didn't once avert his gaze. This, coupled with his eery silence led David to the conclusion that he was an android. Eventually the road split and we turned off, following a stream into a gorge that joined the valley. “We're here,” Tamerine said as they entered a narrow clearing below a huge stone overhang that almost met the cliff on the other side, giving the gorge a cave-like atmosphere. In fact, it seemed as though it once was an enclosed cavern that had eroded over time and caved in to become the gorge. They all donned the masks of their AES suits and the doors opened. David's boots met hard, slippery rock as he exited the rover. The same rock curved upwards to form the overhang, which was covered with moist stalactites that hung from it like grimy white teeth. Water trickled down the overhang and sprayed them with a fine mist as it reached the bottom of the gorge. The opposite cliff face was covered in a thick, moist dark-green wraps of algae. The said “algae” belonged to the non-cellular Solvoa domain. Falling water could be heard from where they were. David peered over the foliage and found the origin of the sound to be a small waterfall tumbling over the cliff edge. He suddenly heard a load flutter above him and looked up just in time to see a large bat-like creature fly through a hole in the cliff-face. The others also left the vehicle, with Jonathon taking their large expedition pack and Tamerine moving in before them. “We walk from here,” Tamerine said. “There's a cave mouth up ahead that leads to the main nest.” She then addressed the guard “Take the back. Shoot anything that looks like a flying spider. Those can get through our suits if they're angry enough.”
›----●----‹
The woman gazed down from the top of the gorge. Her peach skin glistened in the sunlight. Next to her was Talik, her Skylar. He was a large, black creature with shades of green and had two limbs on either side of his slender body, each carrying an exoskeletal jet and tentacle-like limb each. The limbs were curled around nearby branches to stop his buoyant body drifting away. His two deep black eyes followed Viera's gaze. Soon the humans were out of sight. The woman quickly mounted Talik and swooped down to the bottom of the gorge. The humans had entered a cavern. Mentally telling her Skylar to await her return, she followed the humans into the mountain.
›----●----‹
“The cave systems of Novusvita are some of the most extensive we know of,” Tamerine said as they entered the cavern. They were in pitch darkness, but the visors of their Aessuits allowed them to see perfectly. “Untold miles of caverns still remain undiscovered on the planet.” The cave mouth was large, but the tunnel itself was rather narrow and they had to move one by one. Soon, however, the space between the cave walls widened, then expanded dramatically. There was also light ahead. David recalled what Stephanie had said about these caverns. As they walked around a huge stone column towards the source of the light, David caught his breath. The floor and walls of the cavern were lined with plant life. Large, moss-like organisms, complete with colourful luminescent buds brightly lit the cavern, along with a few other life forms. The pool in the middle of the cavern glowed colourfully from either luminescent algae or Solvoans. Solvoa was an acelular domain of Novusvitan life that consisted of organelles contained within organic fluid. Protruding from gaps in the mosses, there were also crystal growths of varying shaped and sizes, glowing brightly from apparent vascular systems within their semi-transparrent “bodies”. These exotic organisms were examples of Recolliga – another domain of Novusvitan life that was characterized by their ability to build in-organic casings for themselves by gathering nearby minerals. They often appear as “trees” seemingly made of rock, crystal and even metal. The actual living part was the acellular fluid within the tubes that criss-crossed their mineral vessle's interior. The third domain of Novusvitan life was Cercera – life that consists of actual cells. The aforementioned “mosses” were part of this domain. “Wow,” one of David's colleagues said. “Cool, huh?” Tamerine said. “I've seen much larger caves like this with much more intricate subterranean ecosystems. The most awesome one ever is the Cathedrals of Harden'dell. Miles and miles of this. Entire subterranean jungles in some of the largest caverns on the planet.” “I guess this is why the Svia'ji consider these caves sacred,” David said. “Yup,” Tamerine responded. “Anyway, the Vampires are deeper, in darker, larger parts of the system. A core nest is quite close. If everyone's done taking mental shots, let's go.” “I'd like to take a video, if that's fine,” Astrid said. “Trust me, you'll have much finer opportunities to do so,” Tamerine said, “even on the way to the bat cave. Believe it or not, this ecosystem is a tiny specimen.”
›----●----‹
The woman wondered if the humans' acute artificial senses were fine enough to sense her. She waited for them to have left the life-lit room before emerging from behind the large stone pillar and following them deeper into the caves. Soon, she could hear the fluttering of what the humans called Sieran Vampires.
›----●----‹
After a fifteen minute trek through light and dark, the team emerged upon the largest cavern yet. It was a curved room with a slanted ceiling and a large, river-like pool along the inner edge of the curve, beneath the overhanging cave wall. There were multiple stalactites on the ceiling and a few pillars. The space was at least thirty metres across, about that high, and at least double that length until its edge was no longer visible due to its curve. And it was loud. They was standing amidst hundreds – if not thousands – of large bat-like creatures flying all about them and in and out of multiple off-shoots of the cave system in the walls of the cavern. Large clumps of the creatures were clinging to the ceiling above them. This room was also lit, but with much simpler organisms, with Solvoans glowing softly as droplets on the stalactites on the ceiling and as puddles on the cave floor. Main, a sticky, jelly-like black muck covered the floor, as David found taking a step forward. He grimaced. The glowing puddles found themselves in this muck, which is probably what the organisms fed on. David noticed the guard glance from creature to creature, rifle ready, as if waiting for one to attack them. Though it was purely for their protection, the gesture nonetheless made David uneasy. “This, my friends, is the bat cave,” Tamerine said. “Before we go any further into their territory, lets try to stay low and keep noise at a minimum. Though they can't get through our suits, an attack is still pretty scary, especially as they do so in swarms.” As she spoke, David took a better look at the Sieran Vampires before them, zooming in to individual specimens of the cat-sized organisms with the visor of his Aessuit. They looked most like bats when they flew. Those on the ceiling more resembled the shape of moths, with their membraned, digitless wings (which David learnt had evolved from their hind limbs) tucked to their sides and back. They were clinging to the ceiling with the claw-like skewers on their front limbs, which are actually their mouths. They also use the skewers to impale their prey before sucking out their fluids, hence their name. David remembered hearing somewhere that these creatures could be quite a pest during certain times of the year, often attacking supply or exploration vehicles (with no success). The Zen'ji reportedly used the scents of certain plants to keep such predators at bay. The Vampires' eyes were tiny and appeared to be covered by skin. Evidently, they were nocturnal. Importantly, their antennae were quite intricate, more so than those of most Duos species, having dish-like disks near their tips. This likely increased their EMR abilities, perfect for the studies David's assigned team were to partake in. “David, mind giving me a hand?” he heard Jonathan ask behind him. Jonathan had put down their pack and was in the process of extracting the required machinery for their readings. David quickly helped. “Where do we put this?” David asked. “Somewhere near the middle,” Jean said. “Scratch that. Fifteen metres in should give enough coverage.” They quickly carried the object to the allocated area. David was careful not to slip on the mucky floor and moved notably slower than Jonathan at first, almost causing them to drop the object. David quickly picked up pace, careful not to annoy one of his new colleagues. The object was conical in shape and, putting it down on the cave floor, produced various tiny dishes from its side and a single intricate antennae from its top end, which soon started flickering. Returning to the group, David saw that Astrid had also produced a small hand-held computer which she remotely connected to the conical device. “It's ready,” she said. “Should I activate?” “Go ahead,” Jean said. “Maybe hand it here, actually. I wanna make sure it's working properly.” “And the rest of us?” Jonathan asked, seemingly eager to contribute. “Just sit back, I guess. Just fifteen minutes of readings and we can pack up again.”
›----●----‹
Fifteen minutes? How was is that? The Zen'ji woman had made her way into the nest's cavern through a different tunnel than the humans, careful to avoid them. She watched silently as the group carried out their strange ritual. Once or twice the armed one would glance her way, but she was too well hidden behind the shadowy pillar of stone. One of them seemed particularly disconnected from the group. Not in participation, really – the armed one with the artificial movements was much more independent in that sense – but in belonging. He only paid attention to the others when they addressed him or required his assistance. More than anything, his environment seemed to be a greater friend to him that his fellow humans. This intrigued her.
›----●----‹
Kenji had arrived early for his first expedition. Too early, it seemed, as Rose arrived almost an hour and a half late. While waiting, Kenji silently sat at his desk, further studying for his future task as ambassador. “Good morning!” Gordon's voice suddenly broke his concentration, causing him to jump. Kenji turned his chair. “Erm, hi, but... I already greeted you.” From across the room, Stephanie chuckled. “'Good morning' is also his way of saying 'what's up?' or 'I want to talk to you' or 'I'm over here' or anything else that might be even vaguely synonymous with hi. You'll get used to Gordon-speak eventually.” Gordon lent against Kenji desk, leisurely swaying in his own hover-chair. “Sorry, love, this happens when I'm bored.” Love?? Keji turned back to his screen. “Is the translation software coming alone alright?” For some reason, he felt inclined to entertain Gordon's conversation. “I attempted a procedural algorithm in order to identify Zen'ji terms that would most appropriately correspond with the though-line of an English sentance,” Gordon said. “It didn't work.” “So... do you want me to give you a solution or something?” Kenji asked, still confused as to Gordon's motive with this conversation. “Because I'd suggest you use separate programs for translation and topical or grammatical coherence.” “You're ingenious, because that's exactly what I'm about to try.” Gordon grinned, then spun his chair around Kenji, ending up on his other side. “If you had the solution, why did you ask me?” “I didn't, love.” Kenji chuckled. “Right. Then what did you come to talk about. And why do you keep calling me 'love'?” “I looked you up. Just wanted to let you know I'm open.” Kenji stared. “What?” At last Rose entered the room. “Feel free to file a sexual harassment lawsuit against my ex, Ken,” she said, walking over to her desk. “And why the hell wasn't I notified of the East-coast Observatory? The construction has startled the locals and I literally had no idea what to tell them.” Stephanie flinched. “Sorry, my bad.” “But anyhow, let's go,” Rose said, addressing Kenji. “We've got a lot of time to make up for.”
›----●----‹
“So, what exactly is it that you're doing?” Tamerine asked, leaning against the cave wall. “We're measuring the electromagnetic and radio-wave based activity within the walls of this cavern,” Astrid said. “It's for our research.” Jean chuckled. “What she means is that we're taking readings of the unvocalised communication between the Vampires. Our team leader, Professor Arthur Penrose, has a theory that said communication is actually much more intricate than just what we'd understand as language – that thoughts, feelings even, can be transmitted between the creatures, even between different species.” “He also believes that each individual Duos specimen can identify the unique EMR signature of any other Duos specimen,” Astrid added. “Zen'ji included.” “Fifteen minutes is pretty much over,” Jonathan said. “Righto,” Jean said. “Let's pack up.”
›----●----‹
The woman was somewhat startled. The humans, it seemed, were learning more about her race than even many of the other nations knew. They had quickly “packed up”, as the one man had put it, and were about to leave. Suddenly, the one than had intrigued her earlier froze, then, to her shock, looked directly in her direction. Despite the darkness, the ducked silently and swiftly behind the large pillar. “David?” she heard one of the humans say. “I just,” the man began. “I though I... never mind.” As soon as the humans left, she quickly followed suit.
›----●----‹
“Vishka is the name of the minor noble family that started and since runs the mine,” Rose said. Kenji, herself and their single guard were seated in a small, robotically steered aircraft, on their way to the mine on the northern side of the Ilrai Mountains. “It's located in the Yl'dir province of the Ra'van region.” “Controlled by the Ahron family – also the current Valieren royal family – and practically central Jia'éill territory,” Kenji completed. “I know.” “Good. Now the situation at Vish'ka is pretty complicated. If there's one thing Greyskins hate more than Goldskins its us. They might not see as as demons like the Iga'ji do, but they still see us as aliens. To them, we don't belong here. What's worse is that this xenophobia seems to be contagious. Even some of the Goldskin convicts have voiced their disapproval of their country with humans. Yesterday they threatened to strike – which is funny, given that they're convicts – but it's still pretty serious. I've seen convicts strike before, and it can get violent, especially with the Khell. Greyskins have... a violent temper.” “I'm guessing such a strike would be bad for our economic relationship with the Valiero'ji,” Kenji said. “Are we supposed to convince the convict-miners that we're not that bad?” “Basically,” Rose sighed. “That should be fun.” “Hey, I'm sorry your first expedition is something like this,” she said sincerely. “I'd much rather have taken you to one of the Svia'ji villages. Those guys are a lot funner. It's just that we're obligated to take new colonists on an expedition on their second day.” “It's okay, I understand,” Kenji said, smiling. “By the way...” “Yeah?” “Were you and Gordon really together?” Rose grinned. “Yup. That relationship was fun. It got kinda awkward, though.” “Awkward how?” Kenji asked, then abjured. “Sorry, it's not my place to ask.” “No no, it's fine,” Rose said. “The easiest way to explain is to tell you how it ended. I left him for a girl and he left me for a guy.” “Oh.” Kenji was silent for a moment. “So... he was really making moves on me when you arrived?” Rose chuckled. “Yeah. I think he finds you adorable!” “That's... intriguing.” “You might wanna get rid of that blush, by the way. We're here.” Kenji looked out the window. Their small aircraft descended through a thick mist bank, penetrated only by the mountainous peaks around them. Once through the vapour, the mine was in sight. A conglomeration of simple stone and wooden structures were visible at the bottom of a wide gorge, in a clearing in the foliage at its base. The walls of the gorge appeared honeycombed with apparent entrances to horizontal mineshafts, connected to one another by interlinked wooden ramps and scaffolds. Overall, the construct had the appearance of a sizable town. Their was one large, flat-roofed stone building in the side of the gorge, whereon their aircraft landed with a gentle thud. Outside, Kenji noticed Zen'ji workers stop their work to stare at this alien arrival. From what Kenji knew of Zen'ji facial expression, it was clear to him that many of the miners did not welcome their presence in the least. The two got out onto the stone roof and were met by a yellow-skinned Zen'ji man a few inches taller than Kenji. With the man were two masked guards of identical skin tone. “Welcome back,” the man spoke. His English had a very strange accent that sounded as though it was spoken through multiple reed flutes. “Hadrôph,” Rose said, bowing. Kenji followed suit. His heart was racing and he couldn't resist a smile. This was his first encounter with a Novusvitan native outside virtual reality. A Zen'ji male's abdomen, about two thirds the size of a human's in proportion with his height, was supported at the bottom sides by two thin legs, ending in wide, digitigrade feet with two stubby toes, though not visible on Hadrôph due to his boots. On the chest were two pairs of ridges, diagonally slanted downward towards the middle, each opening at their lowest points as his inhalation orifices. The shoulders were body orbs protruding off to the sides at a slanted angle, out of which sprouted their thin, save at the joints, exoskeletal arms. Their hands were made up of three non-exoskeletal fingers with short, fang-like claws on their tips. Between these three fingers, on their palms, were three short fleshy tubes, normally hidden by gloves in the more “civilized” cultures and classes, due to the nature of their function. The Zen'ji weren't exoskeletal creatures, except for their arms and also much of their heads, which were shaped similarly to a human head lacking a lower jaw, instead resting on a slanted bowl-like structure that could, perhaps, give the impression of an exaggerated human smile at its rim. There were two pairs of pearly black eyes on the face, the larger just above and to the sides the smaller, and two short segmented antennae protruded from the sides of the head, with three circular openings behind each – the vocal orifices – above the rim of the “bowl” that ringed the head. The antennae, in females, were normally much longer, up to about three feet long. A foot-long lateral crest rose from a male's head, curved in a blade-like shape diagonally backwards. Females had crests about a fifth the height of a male's. There were no mouth, ears or nose on a Zen'ji face, instead their face was a smooth curve, interrupted onto by their eyes and brows. Though the head was mainly exoskeletal, fleshy skin covered their face and forehead and formed the valves over their vocal orifices. Hadrôph appeared to be a man of nobility, being a fairly finely clothed individual. He had the sigel of House Ahron, the current royal family of the Valiero'ji nation, embroidered on the chest of his shirt. This would imply him being either part of the family or a thane in this region, both of which were likely, given his position as lord of Vishka Mine. The mine was in the Ravan region, which comprised of a planetarily wide valley between the Irai and Vaelérr Mountains, the latter of which ran roughly through the middle of the Valiero'ji, from the Great Cyro Highlands in the center of the continent and on the Valieren western border, to the Tel'nir region in the northeast of the nation. The Ravan region was governed by the Ahron family. With their current head of house, Dal'ash Helia Ahron, in the capital as king, rule of Ravan fell to his younger brother, Thale Helia Ahron, steward of the region. Kenji's self-digression ended abruptly when he heard Rose mention his name. “Kenji Hahn, is it?” Hadrôph said. “Rose spoke to me you would come.” Kenji smiled. “Pleasure to make your acquaintance.” “Hey, easy on the English,” Rose scolded with a chuckle. “Right,” Kenji said with a slight frown. “Nice to meet you,” he told Hadrôph, resuming his smile. “Same for you,” the man said. “So how are things now?” Rose asked, getting down to business. “Little change,” Hadrôph, his features displaying the Zen'ji equivalent of a frown. “You may need to speak at them yourself.” “I was affraid you'd say that.” “What does he meen?” Kenji asked. “I'll just need you to tag along for now,” Rose said. The three soon descended a ramp to wooden platform relatively centred on, but still above the work site. As they came into view of the convict miners, they began voicing disapproval in the obscenities of their native tongues. Hadrôph spoke aside to what appeared to be an errand boy, who ran off to one of the other structures on their level. Within moments a loud bell rang. More convict miners soon made their way out of the mountains and a crowd began forming at the bottom of the gorge. Kenji immediately noticed the yellow skinned and greyish-blue skinned majorities segregate themselves into separate groups, and not even at the order of any of the many armed guards in the area. “Hadrôph, will you translate what I say?” Rose asked. Hadrôph nodded. Nodding was one of the few Zen'ji gestured almost identical to the human action, alone with shaking one's head and shrugging. “This is where things get slightly tough,” Rose told Kenji slightly, then turned to the crowd. After that, Rose is going to address the crowd of miner convicts and attempt to restore the peace. Basically, the miners (especially the Greyskins) are threatening to strike or even rebel because the mine is selling to the humans (Darwin, specifically. The goods being sold are minerals and precious metals that are being extracted at Vishka, though I haven't really decided exactly what humans are buying from the mine, though. It's also possible that the mine is using human technologies (which I neglected to mention Kenji seeing as they reached the mine)- humans won't be mining themselves, as that would rob the Valiero'ji of a portion of their income, which would be bad for diplomatic relations). So basically I now have to write whatever Rose tells them, which would be something along the lines of "you have nothing to fear from us" and "our two peoples helping each other will be beneficial for both" and so forth. It also has to be in simple enough words for Hadrôph to translate efficiently. This chapter is meant to establish the following: -David's team is being spied on by a native woman -Some of the Zen'ji, specifically the Greyskins, in this case, really don't like humans -The Svia'ji like humans -Kenji has above average intellect (I attempted to demonstrate this when he suggested something to Gordon regarding software, something completely out of his own field; this is because he has artificially augmented intellect) -Gorden and Rose are both bisexual (not particularly important for the story; I intend to have a bit of fun with this later) -(More subtly) Kenji is gay (I could maybe leave this for later, though) -(Even more subtly) David is developing extrasensory perception and other abilities (like when he "felt" Viera) The following still has to happen in this chapter: - Rose still has to address the Vishka miners, with some temporary success (perhaps coming to some sort of mutual compromise?) -Rose will take Kenji to Typarri village (Viera's "home town", so to speak) -David and the rest of the team will repeat their experiment at the bat cave (by the way, I also still have to figure out exactly what they were doing) in the jungle with a family of Mel'taur. Donathan will accompany the group this time, as the Exobiology department is expecting something groundbreaking about non-vocal communication in Novusvitan life to be discovered with that experiment (what?). Then that whole thing about Donathan going missing will happen, but pretty differently: David will sense Viera again and find and confront her, the Diceratops ( which I want to rename, also) will be noticed zipping through the undergrowth before attacking the party, Donathan will somehow be separated from the group, Viera will disappear from David's sight in the commotion, and only after the guard manages to drive the creatures away will they notice Donathan is gone -I was thinking to end the chapter with Viera returning to her village just before Kenji and Rose leave. Sort of a close call moment. I'm still deciding whether or not to make it clear that she has Donathan here already, though. The bolded bits indicate what I would like you guys' input with. Any would be much appreciated. ^^ |
|  | | Xeno Taco Gazelle

Posts : 1182 Join date : 2010-12-24 Age : 21 Location : Canada
Character Sheet Character Status: N/a Full Name: Starting Universe:
 | Subject: Re: I'm at a loss here - Struggling through Chapter 3 Tue Nov 13, 2012 3:26 pm | |
| I hate losing power. It makes things not fun.
Hmm. I honestly have no idea where I could make input. Could you explain the whole miner strike deal more clearly? I don't really get it.
Hmm. Oh, well, for the Kenji being uber smart bit, you should probably make it more obvious that that isn't something he should know. Like Gordon commenting on how that is something entirely out of his field, or something. |
|  | | SPACE_LEMON Denizen of the Higher Dimensions


Posts : 1538 Join date : 2010-12-23 Age : 22 Location : My own little pocket universe :3
Character Sheet Character Status: N/a Full Name: Starting Universe:
 | Subject: Re: I'm at a loss here - Struggling through Chapter 3 Wed Nov 14, 2012 2:22 am | |
| Agreed. Ima quote this from Chapter 1: As Kenji and Stephanie enter the embassy, Stephanie says this: - Quote :
- “Rose Watson, the current head ambassador, is attempting to solve a dilemma in the Valieren-owned Vishka Mine north of the colony at the moment.”
Later, Rose arrives: - Quote :
- Moments later, the office doors opened and in walked a young-looking woman of about Kenji's age, or at least augmented to appear so. She had a slim body – and wore clothes to show it – and had straight black hair with blue highlights and matching eye colour. “Wow,” said, dropping a large black suitcase on the floor. “That was tiring.”
“Good morning!” Gorgon exclaimed with excessive enthusiasm. “Welcome back,” Stephanie said. “We have a present for you.” “Right, the intern,” Rose said. Kenji had gotten up and approached her, smiling. “Kenji Hahn. Glad to make your acquaintance.” Rose chuckled, grabbing and shaking his hand. “Don't be so sure, hun. You don't know me.” Kenji wasn't sure to take that as a threat or a joke, so chose just to keep smiling and returned to his desk. “Name's Watson, by the way. Rose Watson.” She picked the bag back up and dropped it on an open space on the fourth desk. “So, how was Vishka?” Stephanie asked, still working on her desktop. Rose plopped down onto her hover-chair. “I hate mines. I hate mine-workers. I hate racist mine-worker convicts who can't even speak their own language properly.” “That good, huh?” “Things are getting worse up there,” Rose said with some dismay. “The latest few convicts brought to the mine are generally all Jia'khell from the Greyskin provinces. They caused quite a stir in a recent northern riot.” “And the contract?” “Yeah, we can still purchase minerals from the mine. That wasn't difficult to maintain.” “But?” Rose sighed. “The real problem is actually that most of the convict miners detest us. Heck, the way things look now, our next supply truck will be wrecked and plundered by a hoard of angry dimwitted mine-workers. Hey, maybe they'll even drop their racial segregation to massacre their imagined common enemy!” The chuckled sarcastically. “Anyway, I'll have to pay them another visit tomorrow, or the day after, at least.”
So the convict miners are either lower class Goldskins or Greyskins, both of which have a serious xenophobia of humans ("alien-demon-people here to take our stuff"). They very loudly voice their disapproval of the mine selling to the human colony because, in their eyes, humans are therefor taking their resources. Plus humans just make them very uncomfortable. Yeah, I probably should have Gordon say that. I also sort of started working on what Rose tells the mine workers: - Quote :
- “Hadrôph, will you translate what I say?” Rose asked.
Hadrôph nodded. Nodding was one of the few Zen'ji gestured almost identical to the human action, alone with shaking one's head and shrugging. “This is where things get slightly tough,” Rose told Kenji slightly, then turned to the crowd. “Miners of Vishka,” Rose said, with Hadrôph echoing her loudly in the native tongue. Her addressal was met with outspoken disapproval. “I know you do not see my people as friends, but you have nothing to fear from us.” Her words were drowned in cries of outrage. “Please, listen. We buy metals from this mine because we need it to survive here. But we pay your people greatly to do so. We give you technology to help you and teach you knowledge that would have taken many, many years for you to discover on your own.” A man in the crowd shouted out above the rest before Hadrôph could finish the sentance. Kenji understood what he said as, “If you cannot survive here on your own, why don't you just leave?” “Because the promise of your world is too much for us to ignore,” Rose said. “We aren't just the first other-worldly beings you have encountered, you are also the first beings not from our world we've ever encountered.” Kenji could have sworn someone in the crowd shouted, “No, you are not the first!”, but ignored it. He guessed the man was religious and referring to the mythical Jaylen. “You are just as alien to us as we are alien to you,” Rose continued. “Just as we have much to teach you, I am certain we have just as much to learn from you and your world. We will keep seperate from those of you who do not like us. We won't expand beyond our cities. We don't want you to love us or worship us, we just want you to accept us. We are very different from one another, but we are still equals – beings living together in the same universe.” “Yet you stand above us!” a man shouted as soon as Hadrôph finished translating. The man's words were met with cries of agreement. Rose sighed. “Were we stand means nothing. Are you any less a person than your superiors? No, just...” She abruptly stopped speaking, realizing how that would sound. “Don't translate that!” she quickly told Hadrôph, who nodded.
At that point I'd like Kenji to step in and say something that would make the mineworkers understand better. Like, he should make some really good point about something or make some sort of awesome proposal or whatever. This working would immediately give Rose the impression that Kenji would make a great ambassador (which she'd of course tell Stephanie and whatnot, which would be in his favour). |
|  | | Aletrius Regular Visitor


Posts : 82 Join date : 2011-02-13 Age : 33 Location : UK
 | Subject: Re: I'm at a loss here - Struggling through Chapter 3 Sun Nov 18, 2012 9:27 am | |
| Have them strike. Then the authorities can use force to break it - makes things a bit more 'dramatic', plus introduces the semi-sinister and moral dilemmas I think you vaguely heading towards. Could also prove a useful sticking point for racial politics etc. |
|  | | SPACE_LEMON Denizen of the Higher Dimensions


Posts : 1538 Join date : 2010-12-23 Age : 22 Location : My own little pocket universe :3
Character Sheet Character Status: N/a Full Name: Starting Universe:
 | Subject: Re: I'm at a loss here - Struggling through Chapter 3 Sun Nov 18, 2012 10:34 am | |
| Oh, I'm definitely gonna have full-scale riots later on, but not just yet. For now, I merely want Kenji to diffuse the tension by speaking up and saying something awesome. But first, just after Rose is like "Don't translate that!", a Goldskin from the crowd will be like (in English) "I understand your language, human. And now I know how you truly feel about us, but you are not our superiors." (The man will be from a lesser noble family who got sentenced to a few months of manual labour due to committing fraud. Members of the Valieren noble houses are generally taught English to be able to communicate with humans.) At that point, Kenji steps in to explain what Rose meant and stuff. |
|  | | Xeno Taco Gazelle

Posts : 1182 Join date : 2010-12-24 Age : 21 Location : Canada
Character Sheet Character Status: N/a Full Name: Starting Universe:
 | Subject: Re: I'm at a loss here - Struggling through Chapter 3 Sun Nov 18, 2012 3:19 pm | |
| Riots will be fun, I think. Gotta love riots. |
|  | | SPACE_LEMON Denizen of the Higher Dimensions


Posts : 1538 Join date : 2010-12-23 Age : 22 Location : My own little pocket universe :3
Character Sheet Character Status: N/a Full Name: Starting Universe:
 | Subject: Re: I'm at a loss here - Struggling through Chapter 3 Mon Nov 19, 2012 3:19 am | |
| I still need to figure out what I'm supposed to have Kenji say. :/ |
|  | | Aletrius Regular Visitor


Posts : 82 Join date : 2011-02-13 Age : 33 Location : UK
 | Subject: Re: I'm at a loss here - Struggling through Chapter 3 Mon Nov 19, 2012 10:05 am | |
| I could have a go at drawing something basic up tomorrow, if you want. |
|  | | SPACE_LEMON Denizen of the Higher Dimensions


Posts : 1538 Join date : 2010-12-23 Age : 22 Location : My own little pocket universe :3
Character Sheet Character Status: N/a Full Name: Starting Universe:
 | Subject: Re: I'm at a loss here - Struggling through Chapter 3 Mon Nov 19, 2012 11:04 am | |
| I certainly wouldn't mind!  At the very least it should give me some inspiration. |
|  | | Xeno Taco Gazelle

Posts : 1182 Join date : 2010-12-24 Age : 21 Location : Canada
Character Sheet Character Status: N/a Full Name: Starting Universe:
 | Subject: Re: I'm at a loss here - Struggling through Chapter 3 Wed Nov 21, 2012 8:12 pm | |
| Drawings sound cool. I can't draw at all. Other than stickmen. |
|  | | SPACE_LEMON Denizen of the Higher Dimensions


Posts : 1538 Join date : 2010-12-23 Age : 22 Location : My own little pocket universe :3
Character Sheet Character Status: N/a Full Name: Starting Universe:
 | Subject: Re: I'm at a loss here - Struggling through Chapter 3 Thu Nov 22, 2012 3:39 am | |
| I don't think he meant actual drawings. o/O |
|  | | Aletrius Regular Visitor


Posts : 82 Join date : 2011-02-13 Age : 33 Location : UK
 | Subject: Re: I'm at a loss here - Struggling through Chapter 3 Sun Nov 25, 2012 9:49 am | |
| I'm so sorry I haven't done anything yet. Things came up and I just didn't have the time. I'll my best next week, if you want. |
|  | | SPACE_LEMON Denizen of the Higher Dimensions


Posts : 1538 Join date : 2010-12-23 Age : 22 Location : My own little pocket universe :3
Character Sheet Character Status: N/a Full Name: Starting Universe:
 | Subject: Re: I'm at a loss here - Struggling through Chapter 3 Sun Nov 25, 2012 11:22 am | |
| It's perfectly okay and yes, I'd like that. I won't really have time for anything next week (plus this weekend just past, really) as I'm writing an exam every day this week (thankfully it's the last week of exams). |
|  | | Xeno Taco Gazelle

Posts : 1182 Join date : 2010-12-24 Age : 21 Location : Canada
Character Sheet Character Status: N/a Full Name: Starting Universe:
 | Subject: Re: I'm at a loss here - Struggling through Chapter 3 Mon Nov 26, 2012 5:45 pm | |
| Oh. Darn. I wanted drawings. I'm not that bright.
Sorry I haven't been around. Life is silly. |
|  | | SPACE_LEMON Denizen of the Higher Dimensions


Posts : 1538 Join date : 2010-12-23 Age : 22 Location : My own little pocket universe :3
Character Sheet Character Status: N/a Full Name: Starting Universe:
 | Subject: Re: I'm at a loss here - Struggling through Chapter 3 Tue Nov 27, 2012 3:32 am | |
| It's okay. Another way to put it, is life is life-consuming.  |
|  | | Xeno Taco Gazelle

Posts : 1182 Join date : 2010-12-24 Age : 21 Location : Canada
Character Sheet Character Status: N/a Full Name: Starting Universe:
 | Subject: Re: I'm at a loss here - Struggling through Chapter 3 Tue Nov 27, 2012 7:58 pm | |
| It is.
Heh, I've been working on taking History notes and doing a History assignment for the past 6 hours. I'm at a part about South Africa now, which is neat because we usually just talk about boring old Canada with our boring old furs and fish, and like, four wars, maybe. |
|  | | SPACE_LEMON Denizen of the Higher Dimensions


Posts : 1538 Join date : 2010-12-23 Age : 22 Location : My own little pocket universe :3
Character Sheet Character Status: N/a Full Name: Starting Universe:
 | Subject: Re: I'm at a loss here - Struggling through Chapter 3 Wed Nov 28, 2012 11:46 am | |
| Heh. South African history is boring. (At least by the time you've been doing it for over a decade xD) I still have very little idea what Kenji's supposed to tell the convict mine workers.  |
|  | | Xeno Taco Gazelle

Posts : 1182 Join date : 2010-12-24 Age : 21 Location : Canada
Character Sheet Character Status: N/a Full Name: Starting Universe:
 | Subject: Re: I'm at a loss here - Struggling through Chapter 3 Thu Nov 29, 2012 4:25 am | |
| I'd have no idea. I'm not the best with speeches that are supposed to inspire confidence in people. Or aliens. Maybe you could look up some good speeches people have given and get inspiration from them? |
|  | | SPACE_LEMON Denizen of the Higher Dimensions


Posts : 1538 Join date : 2010-12-23 Age : 22 Location : My own little pocket universe :3
Character Sheet Character Status: N/a Full Name: Starting Universe:
 | Subject: Re: I'm at a loss here - Struggling through Chapter 3 Thu Nov 29, 2012 5:34 am | |
| Eh. I'll just write something - put myself in Kenji's shoes and make it up as I go along - once I've finished the new prologue and adding the new POV's to chapters 1 and 2. |
|  | | Xeno Taco Gazelle

Posts : 1182 Join date : 2010-12-24 Age : 21 Location : Canada
Character Sheet Character Status: N/a Full Name: Starting Universe:
 | Subject: Re: I'm at a loss here - Struggling through Chapter 3 Thu Dec 13, 2012 12:40 pm | |
| |
|  | | SPACE_LEMON Denizen of the Higher Dimensions


Posts : 1538 Join date : 2010-12-23 Age : 22 Location : My own little pocket universe :3
Character Sheet Character Status: N/a Full Name: Starting Universe:
 | Subject: Re: I'm at a loss here - Struggling through Chapter 3 Fri Dec 14, 2012 1:12 am | |
| First I should finish Tyber and Brethin's POV's in Chapter 2, though. :/ At least Chapter One is now completely done (I'll upload it with the finished Chapter 2 (and maybe even Chapter 3) at some point next week). |
|  | | Sponsored content
 | Subject: Re: I'm at a loss here - Struggling through Chapter 3  | |
| |
|  | | | I'm at a loss here - Struggling through Chapter 3 | |
|
Similar topics |  |
|
| Permissions in this forum: | You cannot reply to topics in this forum
| |
| |
| |
|